Finals avoidance tactics

Newest finals avoidance tactic: Odosketch

Promises to provide hours of sketching fun...

Preach it...

Well, tomorrow is the day...

At 10am I will be preaching in church for the first time ever...

I think I might puke...

I'll let y'all know how it goes...

Side Swiped

This week has been bizarre!!

Less than a week ago I was lamenting over homework and now I couldn't care less about it.

I'm doing my homework, by the way...

It never ceases to amaze me how life can change in an instant. I'm so glad I threw the 5 year plan out the window long ago...

I have been completely side swiped this week and it is so wonderful!

Senioritis

There are about 400 thoughts in my head at this moment that I could write about (I guess that happens when you are an inconsistent blogger... Sean, I'm sorry I gave you such a hard time!) In order to not confuse you with the workings of the labyrinth called my brain I will stick to one: School.

I've never been much of the studious type. I like learning, but I don't like homework. I like the social aspect of school, but again, I don't like homework. I like going to class, just not at 8:00 every day and I like reading... but once again, I really don't like homework.

I understand that it's a great discipline to learn, but really I could do without it... Well... In a perfect world.

You see, I've been battling a terrible case of senioritis. Symptoms: procrastination and avoidance, a serious lack of desire to attend classes, and a "please don't make me read another page" mentality. Not fun...

It all came to a head yesterday morning. I woke up, beat from the weekend, and decided to skip class to spend time with Jesus. Then I spent the entire time asking to help me desire to be a better student. I want to do well, but I don't want to go to school!!

Well, he is a God who answers prayers. I'm not going to go into detail, but he poured out encouragement, blessing, faithfulness, and love on me like I never expected. He reminded me, "this is not just for you, and I have big plans." It was much needed and very good.

Moral of the story - God is a God who hears us, and responds to us.

I still don't want to do my homework, but I've got a renewed perspective on why I go to school. If for no other reason than to bring him glory, I will do it.

I'll try to be better at this whole blogging thing... Just like school...

Not Enough...

Well, this is it. The last day of Summer. It came to an end so quickly, but I feel as if this transition from season to season is unlike any I've ever had.

In a sense, it's like vacation is over and it's now time to focus on more important things in life. I think that recently I've remembered the importance of living for others.

I seem to have vague memories of a time in my life when I did that, but I think I've regressed. I find myself asking the same questions of myself:

"What does a life lived for others look like?"

"How am I not already doing that?"

"What areas do I need to change to live a life that abandons self preservation in favor of others?"

I guess there are two more questions that are more important: First I need to ask "How am I a poor representation of Jesus?" and second I need to take a good, hard, deep, look and ask "Are you willing to hear the answers?" Maybe the second needs to come first...

Jesus, my desire is for you! I know that it means certain death to ask you to come and make me dependent on you, but if death is what it takes, kill every last fiber of me. Make me a woman who is able to say with confidence, "though you slay me, Lord, Still I will follow you."

may by ability no longer be enough to get by on. I need the Holy Spirit and the power of the living God to be my strength. I need you...

Let it be.

August 2nd...

... was a bummer day.

Better luck tomorrow... (I hope)...

Journal Excerpt 7.12.09 (edited)

"...Would you continue to scrape away those areas of sickness and un-health so that I can be made whole and clean. I know that there are areas that I need to be cleaned of – take them!
I need you cleansing so badly

My unholiness craves your holiness – Your cleansing – You

Father, will you give me a healthy perspective... Show me ways in which I can change and be more like you. God, I want to be blameless, not because I don’t want to be at fault, but because I have the character and integrity of your Son.
I want to look like Him…

I want to talk like Him, care like Him, love, like He loved.

People will look at me like I’m crazy – I know that… But would you help me to be secure in you enough to let my image be thrown out the window. I don’t really care what they think – But help me to care less. Their impression of me is irrelevant. Ingrain that in my mind.
Father, I want to be willing to be made a fool for your name’s sake – Right now I’m not. I’m too concerned with what others will think. Kill that part of me.
Father, would you humble me to the point that I am willing to be seen as foolish. Will you break my heart to the point that my image no longer matters?
Right now I am too caught up in self to be lost in you, but I want to lose myself so that I might be found.
God will you free me from myself?

I think it is something I desperately need..."

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25

It'll be my birthday soon.
I love my birthday. A lot! But this one is so weird.
I find myself repeating, over and over, "you're going to be 25 and you haven't even started your life yet!"
Something about turning 25 makes adulthood seem more real. Now, I know that 25 isn't old, but you have to bear with me, because I've never turned 25 before... I guess I just thought things would be different at 25 than they are. I wouldn't change them and I think that things are pretty great, but it has caused me to contemplate a lot.
It's already been 25 years since I was born. A lot has happened (as I'm sure a lot more will) but it has all happened so quickly... and it just keeps getting quicker.
I was wandering through thoughts the other day and it hit me that someday I'm going to die. In 25 more years I'll be celebrating my 50th birthday and I might have children graduating high school, or having children... and then in 25 more years, I could be celebrating another quarter of a century and the end of life will be so near.
I wonder if I'll be scared.
I think what concerns me more is that life will never start. Yes, right now college is my life but I don't want that to just be my life! I want to meet people and go places and do things. I want to learn fun stuff like photography and painting! I want to make people breakfast and coffee and learn how to play the cello...
So many things! So little time!
Luckily I've got about 10 more days to get used to the idea... I'm sure it will provide a lot more opportunity for God to reveal himself to me.
His plans, His purposes...
I guess it doesn't matter if I've got 2 more years or 200... as long as I live them for Him.

Socialism

Let me begin this by saying that I'm not very politically minded and I don't have answers to these questions yet, but some conversations I've had this week have caused me to question some stuff.

- Does socialism inhibit freedom? Social health care for example: If the government provides health care to you, they can dictate when you are and aren't eligible to receive certain services... a woman in China is only allowed to have one child and if she exceeds that number the government will likely require that she abort her pregnancy and be sterilized... I would not call that free.

- Does socialism encourage mediocrity? Socialism, as far as I understand it, attempts to put everyone on a more level playing field. What's the point of striving to be successful if everyone receives the same benefit? What's the point of working hard if you can reap the same benefit as those who do not work at all?

- Do our consumeristic ideals encourage us to buy into socialism? Think about this - Consumerism is about getting more for less, right? Consumerism asks the question, "Where can I get more for less?" Naturally, if we are already in this mindset we will probably be excited when someone comes along and says "I'll give you all this for nothing, and you can be just as good as everyone else!" However, are we so excited to get something for what seems like nothing that we forget about the implications it might have on our overall quality of life? ... What about taxes, housing, the number of children I have, the future of those children?

Here's my last question... and again, I have not thought through this completely:

- Is socialism antithetical to the message of the gospel? Jesus says "give up everything to follow me, you father, your mother, your riches. Leave your family and give what you have to the poor and follow me. Store up treasures in heaven" There are many more examples than the few I can think of off hand, but it seems that Jesus says that some will have a reward that is greater than others. This reward seems to be directly related to how much they gave up for the kingdom. Everyone is an heir and everyone can receive the saving blood of Jesus, but not all will enter into heaven. If Jesus was a socialist then what would be the point of even accepting him and trying to live for him? If Jesus were a socialist, wouldn't he have to bring into the kingdom even those who don't believe in him...

I really don't know... Maybe I am completely misunderstanding the premise of socialistic society...

I'd love to hear what you all have to say.

The Magician's Nephew

There are some things that just strike you.
a beautiful sunrise-flowers blooming-dear friends-well written books...

One of the things on my summer "To Do" list is to re-read the Narnia chronicles. Last night I finished the first book in the series. It's awesome.
It took a little over a day to read the little book, what with work and other obligations, but toward the end I found it difficult to hold back tears.

Aslan creates the land of Narnia and chooses some of his creatures to be intelligent beings, to watch over Narnia. After he chooses them, this is what he says:

"Narnia, Narnia, Narnia, awake. Love. Think. Speak. Be walking trees. Be talking beasts. Be divine waters... Creatures, I give you yourselves. I give to you forever this land of Narnia. I give you the woods, the fruits, the rivers. I give you the stars and I give you myself... Laugh and fear not... You see, friends, that before the new, clean world I gave you is seven hours old, a force of evil has already entered it; waked and brought hither by this son of Adam. Evil will come of that evil... and I will see to it that the worst falls upon myself..."

So Good... Probably more to come...

Mohammed

Today I went to Chico with a couple friends. We went to go to a Jazz concert at Laxon Auditorium and decided to go a few hours early to hang out. On the agenda was falafel wraps at Petra Mediterranean Restaurant. (so incredibly amazing!!)
So we're at this little place and the owner, Mohammad, is making our falafels, talking to us about our lives and his life. He is such a nice guy. It came up that we go to a christian college and then he asked, "you are Christians?" After we answered yes he began to ask all sorts of questions. Very good, but very hard questions.
I go to a bible school and I'm studying Theology, but I feel like I'll never be well enough prepared for things like this. Some of the questions were easy enough, (what is the difference between Catholic and Protestant? You mean Christians do not all believe the same?) but some of his questions were hard (How is it that you can believe Jesus is the Son of God and God himself, yet you only believe in one God...)

Sometimes I feel so ignorant...
Sometimes I wonder if Redding is too isolated...
Sometimes I think I'm too comfortable here...
Sometimes I think I'll never have these answers...

So, here is what I questioned throughout the remainder of the night, "What do I say? What could I have done differently? What can I store away in my memory bank for next time?? God, How do I reach this man, and his family... and an entire planet... who will all die and go to hell if I don't do something???!!!"

Two things came to mind:
-"it is customary for me, as a Christian, to pray to God for_________ (fill in the blank: lunch, friends, sickness, etc.) May I pray for you?"
- live a life people will be intrigued by and attracted to.

In one of my text books there is a paragraph about Australia. Apparently, ranchers in Australia don't use fences. The territories are too big to keep a fence repaired and in working order. Instead, they build wells in the areas they want their livestock to stay. If life giving water is readily available, there will be no need for the livestock to leave and the animals will stay close.
I'm sure you can make the connection...

...This all leaves me with one more thought: I am ignorant!!! ...and I've got so incredibly far to go.....

Wedding night vs. Marriage life

It seems like everyone is talking about it... or doing it...
It seems like everywhere I turn there's a blog, a book, a conversation or speculation about marriage... That's right: Marriage.
So, all of this marriage talk (and the fact that I know a dozen or more couples tying the knot this summer) has gotten me thinking...
When I was in high school and early college marriage was this big deal thing. Mostly because getting married meant one huge thing: Sex. A lot of people I knew were already having sex, so for them it was no big deal, but for the ones who waited it was a very big deal... To the point that that's where the wedding day ended. If you had asked me at 19 years old where a wedding day ends I would have said "the bedroom"
So, now I'm older and a lot of my friends are getting married. I'm so excited for all of them! But, all of this marriage and wedding stuff has made me start thinking again. I don't know when it was - Maybe a couple months ago - but I was thinking about weddings and I had this thought: What happens after the wedding night?
Now, before you think I'm a complete idiot, let me reassure you, I know what happens... The point, though, is that the "wedding night" had become so engrained as the pinnacle of marriage that It had never crossed my mind to think into the day after the wedding, let alone the month, or decade... SCARY STUFF!!!
So this is what I've been thinking - not about wedding ceremonies or the wedding night - I've been thinking about marriage.
As I began to think past the wedding night I also began to think about the struggles of life together - Learning together, submitting to one another - arguing - apologizing - Cooking dinner and doing laundry - raising children... (Seriously, this list could go on for pages.) I began to think of the qualities of a good husband: a protector and provider, a support and encourager, a man who is willing to lay down his life for the good of his wife and children, someone to help guide me and rebuke me if I need it... and most importantly, a man who is willing to give anything and everything for the sake of following Jesus and making the Gospel known to the nations...
At some point it dawned on me: Those are the things that God is for me already.
God is my protector, my provider and my supporting encourager. He is willing to lay down his life, in fact, he already has. He guides me and rebukes me and his greatest desire is that everyone would hear the Gospel. And to top it all off, He is wildly in love with me.
I wonder, what would my life look like if I focused less on a "wedding night" experience with God and more on a "marriage life" with Him...

Song of Songs 4: 6-16
The sweet, fragrant curves of your body, the soft, spiced contours of your flesh
Invite me, and I come. I stay until dawn breathes its light and night slips away.
You're beautiful from head to toe, my dear love, beautiful beyond compare, absolutely flawless.

Come with me from Lebanon, my bride.
Leave Lebanon behind, and come.
Leave your high mountain hideaway.
Abandon your wilderness seclusion, where you keep company with lions and panthers guard your safety.
You've captured my heart, dear friend.
You looked at me, and I fell in love.
One look my way and I was hopelessly in love!
How beautiful your love, dear, dear friend—
far more pleasing than a fine, rare wine, your fragrance more exotic than select spices.
The kisses of your lips are honey, my love, every syllable you speak a delicacy to savor.
Your clothes smell like the wild outdoors, the ozone scent of high mountains.
Dear lover and friend, you're a secret garden, a private and pure fountain.
Body and soul, you are paradise, a whole orchard of succulent fruits—
Ripe apricots and peaches, oranges and pears;
Nut trees and cinnamon, and all scented woods;
Mint and lavender, and all herbs aromatic;
A garden fountain, sparkling and splashing, fed by spring waters from the Lebanon mountains.

(The Woman)
Wake up, North Wind,
get moving, South Wind!
Breathe on my garden,
fill the air with spice fragrance.
Oh, let my lover enter his garden!
Yes, let him eat the fine, ripe fruits.


...How Beautiful.

Exciting Discoveries!!

So, sometime last week I went to pick up my bike from the house I used to live at. It had been sitting for a while. I was at school and didn't have anywhere covered to store it and one of the gals living there had been using it... but then it got a flat... and then it just sat there... with one sad flat tire accumulating dust.
That made me sad.
But then I moved and had plenty of places to store it so I went and got it...
Last night Julie helped me change the tube and tune it up a bit (She's absolutely amazing... She even fed me Lasagna!) And today was a nearly perfect day... So I went riding.
It was AMAZING!! Let me just tell you how incredibly perfect it was. First, I live right across the street from a really pretty well kept preserve that has trails. They're pretty easy and just plain beautiful so I started there. The trails lead to all sorts of places so I figured I'd just explore.
I stopped at the little pond for a few minutes and said "hi" to the little bird friends that live there. Ducks, Geese, Some little loon-ish looking birds, red-winged black birds, killdeer, and I also saw an egret. It was great.
I followed the trail and it forked off so I took the right fork and ended up at another entrance to the preserve. I rode down that road and came to Airport Rd. One of the bigger roads in town (Although there's not a whole lot on it.) I knew that if I turned right I could do a full circle and some more exploring, so I did! That's when I made another amazing discovery!! There's a little privately owned burrito store in town and taking the way I did it's only about a 10 minute ride from the house... They have the best Salsa Verde in town... I'm stoked about that.
I kept riding and passed all sorts of things. Jose's diner, Risen King's current church offices, Dutch Bros. and some houses.
Then I stopped to feed a horse some grass, rode around in some neighborhoods (I actually took a street I wasn't familiar with and got lost) and then I had made it full circle so I decided to check out the other trails in the preserve before I rode my little self home.
The weather was perfect and the scenery was green and beautiful... I thought about a lot of stuff because it was quiet and I was alone...
Altogether it was an amazing Saturday...
I'm sure there will be more cycling adventure stories to come!!

Hymns

I've been listening to Hymns lately. I know a lot of people don't like them, but if you listen to the words you will quickly see that they are rich with praise, adoration and theology!! I admit, without shame, that I LOVE HYMNS!!!
Here's the latest favorite. Fernando Ortega does it really well.
Seriously... if you don't listen to hymns you should... You'll be rocked...

O Sacred Head Now Wounded
O sacred Head, now wounded, with grief and shame weighed down,
Now scornfully surrounded with thorns, Thine only crown;
How pale thou art with anguish, with sore abuse and scorn!
How doth Thy visage languish that once was bright as morn!

What Thou, my Lord, hast suffered, was all for sinners’ gain;
Mine, mine was the transgression, but Thine the deadly pain.
Lo, here I fall, my Savior! ’Tis I deserve Thy place;
Look on me with Thy favor, vouchsafe to me Thy grace.

What language shall I borrow to thank Thee, dearest friend,
For this Thy dying sorrow, Thy pity without end?
O make me Thine forever, and should I fainting be,
Lord, let me never, never outlive my love to Thee.

Mid-Day thought

Relevance is not making something palatable.
They aren't the same thing...

Just some thoughts...

Well, it was bound to happen at some point. Thoughts have been brewing. (Most likely it's because I have been slacking on school work and therefore have extra time to think about something other than the contents of my educational experience.)
I went back a couple days ago and read what I had written after coming back from world mandate and I realized how easy it is to forget the things that God does. I had remembered the big points. I remember that I want to intentionally build relationships. I remembered that there really is so much more to following Jesus than my little life... I'm a drop in a bucket; a grain of sand on the ocean shore... Those things I remember with ease. It's the uncomfortable things that are easier to forget.

It's easy to forget that I've asked God to take control. It's easy to forget that I deeply want him to. It's easier to forget that I have to participate with him - that I can't just sit back and expect him to do everything.
It makes me think of how important it was for the Israelites to remember. "remember that you were slaves in Egypt..." "Remember the commands that moses gave you..." "Remember the wonders he has done..." "Remember to extol his work..." "Remember to obey his precepts..." "Remember the wonders He has done..."
If I'm anything like the Israelites (sinful, ungrateful, selfish... human) and I am, then this should be my mantra right?
Remember, remember.... (slightly reminiscent of The Lion King, isn't it?)
Just something to work toward I guess...

There's other stuff rolling around in there, but none of it is really formulated enough to write about...
So that concludes this evening's purging of thoughts... I'm sure there will be more to come!

World Mandate '09

Well it's been about a week and I'm sure the couple of you who actually read this are wondering when I'm going to write something about World Mandate. This is what you've been waiting for:
First of all, it was incredible!! When we went I wasn't really thinking that God would do anything huge in me, but in the same light I expected him to do something. I think that he was very intentional in providing a way for me to go. It was an incredible blessing to get away for a few days.
Anyway, we left from Sacramento on Thursday and spent about 26 hours in various airports around the country... well, three. It was quite the adventure. We eventually met up with some friends in Dallas and all drove to Waco together. It was so nice to see our friends who planted a church in Santa Cruz a couple years ago. My best friend, Alana, was there and that was enough to make my whole weekend.
When we got to Waco we headed straight to the conference. The first session was good. The most amazing part was worship. The church that puts on this conference every year has the most incredible worship team I've ever heard. They are SO good! We learned a couple new songs and then listened to the speaker share an amazing story of how God brought him through a broken marriage and then to Lebanon as a missionary. It was crazy! Good stuff!!!
Saturday morning was amazing... but I was way too grumpy to enjoy it. Actually, I was really grumpy almost all of Saturday. I don't know what my problem was... I was being a jerk, and trying really hard not to. Natalie and I skipped one of the break out sessions and hung out at the little coffee shop on the edge of Baylor's campus. Then we went to one of the breakout sessions and then to dinner before the last session. At one point I was talking to Linda and Alana about how I really wanted to get prayer. Not that I felt I needed it for anything specific, but I had come all the way to Texas!! I figured I might as well take advantage of it. Well, I don't know which sessions they all happened, but there were a lot of things that hit me on Saturday. First was the idea that there are three perversions of truth that people frequently believe: "not me, not at this time and not this group of people." That really stuck with my. I realized as his speaker was talking about these perversions that I regularly believe all of those to be true. It's hard to believe that God wants to use me, and to believe that he's not waiting for me to be more mature or holy before he uses me. It's also hard to believe that he can use someone as incompetent as me to minister on a christian campus where everyone (almost everyone) already knows Jesus. I think this was the morning session so I had a lot of time to think about these three things throughout the day.
I realized some things about myself: I am easily confused and easily discouraged and I left California to go to Texas both confused about how God wanted to use me, and whether or not he even wanted to and discouraged that I had been at Simpson for a year and not had much opportunity to intentionally pursue intimate relationships with people.
I was frustrated! And my terrible mood was evidence of that.
So, the Saturday night session starts and I was SO on edge (and that is so unlike me!) Worship was good and the speaker was great. He said something that really struck me as interesting - "The truth is, you've got to be called to stay because the call to go has already been clearly made in the great commission." I'd never thought about that... I know for now I'm called to stay here. When I was coming back from China a couple Summers ago God told me I'd be staying in the states for a while... but that's a different story - So, the speaker told everyone that they are called somewhere and that without the empowerment of the Holy spirit we cannot truly bring the Kingdom to the places we go, so he called everyone who had a place in mind and wanted prayer to be anointed with the power of the Holy Spirit to come forward. Basically everyone went forward, including myself. Honestly it was pretty uneventful. I was disappointed that I didn't start speaking in tongues and prophesying over people, but that's not what God was doing. I sang for a little while down on the ground level and then went back to the stands where everyone else was, and who should be waiting but Alana and Linda. Linda asked if I went and got prayer. People had prayed for me, but it was fairly impersonal and general. I said that I had kinda been prayed for and then sat down... They totally saw through my cover-up.
Both Alana and Linda harassed me until I went up again, but this time they both offered to go. Linda had an old friend who was working at the conference so we tracked him down through the sea of people and she asked if he would pray for me. Esteven introduced himself and I was immediately at ease. He has this uber fatherly-ness that just leaks out of him all over the place and it was so comforting. He prayed for me and it was all dead on. I didn't say anything to him and he prayed against confusion and discouragement. He prayed that I would believe the things that God says and he prayed that I would be able to trust God with those little things (which is another difficult area for me... I'm pretty independent and I've been let down by people a lot so trusting God is really difficult sometimes.) Well, all I can say is that it was amazing.
The speaker that night had also talked briefly about Isaiah 43. It was the other thing that had caught my attention. Earlier in the night I write it down so I could go back to it. not knowing anything, Esteven prayed that I would know Isaiah 43 deep inside, and believe it. i re-read it later and it's perfect.

The whole weekend was perfect. It's hard to get back into the swing of homework and work but it was such a good weekend. There were a lot of good things to take away from everything we heard and saw. I was such a precious time with friends and such a great weekend to be reminded that not everyone in America is apathetic. I don't have to be apathetic to reach people in the states for Jesus.

There is still a lot to process, but the most tangible thing I felt I needed to continue to pursue, with fervency, is relationship with people. I know a lot of people, but I don't know very many of them intimately. I plan to spend this year developing intimate relationships with people. As a result I plan on being even more intentional about pursuing quality time with people I love and people I want to be better friends with.
My heart aches to see people draw closer to Jesus... He is so desperately IN LOVE with creation. I long so deeply to know how I can better convey that deep, longing kind of love that He has for His precious creation, for His bride. I want to love creation and love the Bride the way that he loves them. I want to ache over them, and cry over them. Mourn over losses and rejoice in even the smallest victories.
There is so much to work toward in this pursuit, but He is worth it and there is no greater joy than to serve Him by loving the people he made with thought and care.
I'm excited for this new year. I think it's going to be a good one.


Oh The Passion of Your Heart
Oh the passion of your heart, your abandoned pursuit of me
Oh the risks that you took to love someone like me
That risk has set my soul free
Your desire for me is overwhelming, it consumes your every thought
Oh the joy that you feel when our hearts touch! The joy of when we touch!
You desire to draw me so close to you, you desire to have me all to yourself
You tenderly call out my name, beckoning me to come nearer
You romance me with purity and sweet wine poured into a cup of communion
We dance and spin all around the universe
Your rage is aroused in my enemies, you defend me with arms full of strength
Your gentleness toward me is ever present, your care for me ever living
You're so eager to disclose all the secrets of your heart, to show yourself unrestrained, fully given to me
Your goodness is a placid stream, a blanket wrapped around me
Your faithfulness is the sure song of sunrise, and your promises are structures already formed
Ever deepening is the vastness of your great love, you allure me with soft array
Ever present is the pulse of your affections Your smile is gleaming with excitement to show me even more
- Enter the Worship Circle: Third Circle: Track 17

Dear God,
I ask that you will guide and protect our new president. Would you fill him with wisdom and strength to lead our country well? Give him support and encouragement in his times of need, and rally around him supportive people who will help him. Silence the tongues of those who cut him down. God, help him to have a thick skin and a discerning heart. I also pray for his wife and daughters. God, I ask that you would grow their love for one another over the next four, possibly eight, years.
Be his light and his guide.
Amen

Fig Leaves and Wedding Feasts

It's been a while... Life has been full what with a new semester starting. It's been good. I really like my classes.

Anyway, I've been thinking about a couple things lately. I love the picture that these two things paint of our relationship to one another and our relationship to God.

The First:
Have you ever noticed that weddings seem to revolve around the bride? Think back on various wedding experiences and you'll probably notice that a good number of them are very bride-centric. The flowers, the decor, the photos. Most of those things are meant to enhance and capture the beauty of the bride. She walks down the aisle dressed in a white gown and everyone stands. The music announces her entrance and there are even other women who walk down the aisle to announce her arrival. The groom stands at the altar, awaiting her entrance - anticipating her approach. All eyes are on HER. The Bride.
The colors are usually her favorite. The dress is usually the most ornate she will ever wear. The entire theme of the wedding is, in most cases, what SHE wants.
Now take that picture and put yourself on the aisle (guys, I know that will be hard) and picture Jesus as your awaiting groom. Now put every believe on the aisle with you.
The wedding is about the bride. The beauty, the attention, the groom. were it not for the Bride, the groom would have no reason to stand at the altar... Were it not for the groom, the bride would not walk the aisle.
Church, it's about us. The cross, the resurrection, the ascension, the gift of the Holy Spirit.
All of it gifted to us to adorn us on the day our vows are complete and we join our groom at the wedding feast.

There's still some formulating to be done to that thought, but I think it's such a beautiful picture.

The Second:
We were talking about this in one of my classes last week. It has stuck with me since then and there are thoughts that have been added. I love this one. It makes me cry.
So you've got Adam and Eve in this garden with all sorts of good stuff and then you've got this tree. THE tree. This is the tree that is to remain untouched, but then a bunch of stuff happens and the tree is touched, the fruit is eaten and Adam and Eve have to leave the garden. Now, listen to this: My Roommate, Kristin, was talking about choices this afternoon and something she said struck me. She was recalling a message from a parenting series by Danny Silk at Bethel Church, here in Redding. She said that God created all things and gave Adam and Eve the freedom to choose how they would live. He said not to eat the fruit, but they chose. The were able to choose because they were free from the get go. God isn't a controlling God and He allowed the bad choice to be made, despite the heartache it caused Him. Now, as we were talking in class this week, we noted how after that first poor choice, Adam and Eve were addressed as individuals instead of together and that they were ashamed and covered themselves. Sin - the first poor choice - Brought shame and separation to all mankind and it brought separation between God and Man.
Now here's the interesting part:
God didn't give them the boot and say "well Adam you're on your own! See-ya, wouldn't wannna be-ya." No, God has compassion on Adam and Eve. He sees their shame and he kills some of the animals to make clothing for them. The first thing he does for them is make a sacrifice to cover their nakedness.
The first thing God does is Make a sacrifice to cover their shame, and it sets the precedent for the rest of the story. The story that we still are living out today.
We still make poor choices and God still covers our shame. Jesus became the sacrifice that would take care of it once and for all.
We are separated, and we are shamed, but God's sacrifice covers our shame.

I love it. It's so beautiful. It's so wonderful to think that in my bad judgement, God would be willing to make a sacrifice to make me a garment more lasting than the fig leaves I can find on my own.

Well, I think I'm rambling now. It must be bedtime.
I'm sure there will be more musings and ramblings to come... eventually.