He Beckons

In the midst of moving I've lost my bible. It sure is a hell of a time to lose something so redolent with life and encouragement. Life has been pretty calm since January... Up until 3 weeks ago, that is. I can't wait for everyone to come back to school and see it. Hopefully we'll be ready to open shop as scheduled (August 18th if you were wondering)
I can't quite figure out what God's going to do in this next season. Right now I just want to cry. It's kinda comical, actually. I Have been surprisingly emotionless the past three weeks, but tonight I began to get a little weepy. I came home and I felt absolutely spent. It's a little overwhelming being partially responsible for opening a business, let alone opening it in a month.. that's right... one month.
If nothing else, there are a few things I am beginning to see, both in God and in myself. I am constantly being reminded of how He is the one who made all of this happen. It's a complete miracle that we were even asked to take over the coffee shop in the first place! God is reminding me of things that he spoke to me and things that I prayed for years ago. I would venture to say that he is beginning to bring some of those things to fruition. AMEN!!
He's also showing me some of my junk (as usual) I'm a little overwhelmed and I haven't been the nicest person this week. I think in celebration of my crappy attitude I was given a slice of humble pie... I also have this little habit of muscling through difficulties without even thinking about asking God for strength. DUMB!! Don't do it... It's stupid and not nearly as productive. But he's a good Papa and he's always waiting for me to grab hold of his hand again, no matter how undeserving I am.
I can see how everything in my life, especially events over the past 5 years, has led up to this season. He is so gracious to give us the desires of our hearts if we first choose to give ourselves completely to Him. I am completely humbled by the amazing saviour we serve and even more humbled by my incompetence. Yet, He adores me.
If you're in the area, come see the shop. If you live in Redding, I'm sure we can find college students for you to feed. If you really want to win them over, tell them to bring their laundry too.
Really what I think it comes down to is this: "But God demonstrates his love for us by the fact that the Messiah died for us while we were still sinners." (Romans 5:8) What choice does that leave us?

Ramblings...

It's coming along beautifully. The walls are painted and we've figured out a way to give them an artistic look while still being able to display art. It's going to be beautiful and I'm so excited... but today I was tired.
I looked at the list of things that have to be done yesterday and suddenly my chest got tight. I was slightly short of breath and had a passing thought that sounded something like "what in world did I get myself into?" I'm sure it won't be the last time I think that. I had to step back from it all so I picked up my guitar and played a song...
...Then a book on my desk caught my eye. Tozer on the Holy Spirit. It's a one year devotional... a really great read. I hadn't picked it up since May and felt like I needed to see what today's tid-bit was. I flipped the pages open to August 4th and the title was "Energy From Indwelling Power" The caption in the upper left was Romans 8:11. It reads: "He that raised Christ from the dead shall also quicken your mortal bodies by his spirit that dwelleth in you."
As Tozer wrote: "To live in the Spirit is to receive the...life of the Holy spirit in our physical being and to find in Him the source of constant stimulus and strength for... our mind and all the functions of our body."

I wonder: what would my life look like if I really let his joy be my strength. What does that even look like? Maybe I get it and don't realize it... Then again... Probably not. I remember in a women's bible study we did a few years ago we talked about finding sabbath rest in Jesus Christ. I wonder if God is bringing me into a season of finding sabbath rest in him, everyday... That would be wonderful.
Mostly it's just speculation at this point... I'm sure it's all connected to something else though. Something bigger than you and I can see or imagine this side of heaven. What an honor it is to be allowed to opportunity to participate. We aren't just fans... We're on the team!! (thanks for the great analogy P.M.)