Well, nearly a month has gone by since I started school and moved into the dorms. It's been such a different experience. I'm meeting everyone around me, and even having some deep, thought provoking conversations here and there. Although my classes haven't been academically challenging, the experience as a whole has been spiritually challenging. I want so badly to come along side of the spiritual leadership on campus, but in making my availability and willingness known, God had revealed more of my human nature and how it still looks so different from his nature. Even in some of my most well intended moments God showed me that there is still pride and ego. Whether I realize it or not, I still have ideas of what I think things should look like, which actually translates into having my own agenda. I'm still critical... and not just of myself.
Lord, would you change me!!??
Yet, as I'm reminded, ever so lovingly, that I haven't arrived, I hear my father whispering his heart for his people. In the book of John, in Chapter 21, after Jesus has risen, He challenges Peter:
15When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?" "Yes, Lord," he said, "you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Feed my lambs."
16Again Jesus said, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me?" He answered, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Take care of my sheep."
17 The third time he said to him, "Simon son of John, do you love me?" Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, "Do you love me?" He said, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Feed my sheep... Then he said to him, "Follow me!"
Even in everything that I've had the opportunity to learn, it all comes down to the simplicity of two things. Love God. Love People. It's so easy to forget that nothing else matters.
School is a blessing, and I'm learning, among other things, that everywhere you go is a spiritual classroom. The Holy Spirit is alive and moving in every breath and in each and every person who calls Jesus, Lord. And to think that all we need to do is take care of his sheep. I pray, Father, show me how.
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Hey you, I just felt like I needed to revisit your writings my friend. After reading a number of your writings tonight I'm forced to ask you why you are there at your university?
When Charity and I got together she claimed to have a fairly strong relationship with God but I talked her out of it rather easily. I've been dealing with some guilt on this but I keep on coming back to the same two things. If you have a strong relationship with God then it is unwavering. There will be tough times but they will only make it stronger. The second is that by having your faith tested and argued you should gain more knowledge and power in what you believe.
I think that you're right on when you ellude to the thought that the best place to learn is right next to Jesus just doing it. I can see a purpose in college but after having completed many years of it I have realized that no book could have prepared me for watching a child lie lifeless in my arms while I tryto save it or how to put out a house that is shooting fire out of every window. Life is the greatest teacher. You know that whole life on life thing.
I will end up back in school to learn more about my faith but there is no prof out there like you, Dave, PM, Nozer, Nan, etc. God has chosen you as his tool to teach me. Thank you being just that. I'll chat with you soon. In the mean time think about my question and what it is that you want from school. Please let me know.
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