The Fears Of My Doubting Heart

It's late. Actually it's almost bedtime so hopefully I can make this short. I've had a little vortex of thoughts swirling around in my head this week.
We're still waiting on the coffee shop to go through. South street is on the verge of being open and then It's going to Simpson's Yaks consuming my life. We've been on hold for a couple weeks and as time gets shorter, I have realized that I'm growing more and more anxious.
I don't usually suffer from anxiety, but that's the only way I can think of to describe the tight feeling I get in my chest every time I let my mind go into detail mode. It's as if I can feel my blood pressure rising within me. The tight chest and rising blood pressure has also been accompanied by a lot of thinking... and a tinge of fear.
Maybe I'm realizing that this is going to be more difficult than I have had it idealized in my head, or maybe I realized how absolutely insane it is to think that I'm hard-core enough to go to school full time and manage a coffee shop... can anyone point me in the direction of the nearest straight jacket and padded room??
I didn't really think about it until last week. Something happened at my small group and it hit me: "people see me as a leader." It was the kind of situation that made me want to look behind me to see who they were really talking about when they were looking in my direction. As that realization began to settle in my grey matter I began to remember some of the things that God spoke to me before I started school. He shared with me that he would eventually bring me into a season where my passion for Him would be offensive, even to those who followed him, and that there would be people who would really not like me. He also has been reminding me that I cannot contextualize the truth to make it easy to swallow. I am called to speak the truth boldly.
I wonder if this is the beginning of that season.
I'm a little scared. Not so much that there will be people who are offended by me, but afraid of how I will respond. I'm so afraid that when it comes down to it, I'll speak only what people want to hear instead of what they need to hear.
The opportunity to be Jesus to this campus is fulfillment of God's promises and it is bigger than anything I can see. It's a piece of bringing the eternal kingdom to earth and it's evidence of God's faithfulness and love for His children... and I get to be part of it.
It's so humbling to think that the Lord and King of all creation would take the time to let me partner with him. In myself there's nothing worthy of His kingdom. Nothing I could put my hands to would be successful without the power of the living, breathing uncreated God. His plans are perfect. His plans rise above my attempts, my desires and even my fears.
That's straight truth, right there.
If you think about it, pray that God would reveal himself to the student body here. Pray that His glory would be revealed and that his presence would manifest on this campus. Pray that Yaks would give The Holy Spirit an opportunity to penetrate hardened hearts and mend broken ones. Pray that we would be used to reveal His glory and adoration and that Jesus' life would be evermore lived in us incarnationally.
As all of this moves forward I am left with a few words that press on my heart. They compel me to ignore fear and move forward with Jesus as my guide:
"This gospel of the kingdom will be proclaimed throughout the world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come" Matthew 24:14
"All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore, as you go, disciple people in all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to obey everything that I've commanded you. And remember, I am with you each and every day until the end of the age."
Matthew 28:17-20
Let it be so...