Journal Excerpt 7.12.09 (edited)

"...Would you continue to scrape away those areas of sickness and un-health so that I can be made whole and clean. I know that there are areas that I need to be cleaned of – take them!
I need you cleansing so badly

My unholiness craves your holiness – Your cleansing – You

Father, will you give me a healthy perspective... Show me ways in which I can change and be more like you. God, I want to be blameless, not because I don’t want to be at fault, but because I have the character and integrity of your Son.
I want to look like Him…

I want to talk like Him, care like Him, love, like He loved.

People will look at me like I’m crazy – I know that… But would you help me to be secure in you enough to let my image be thrown out the window. I don’t really care what they think – But help me to care less. Their impression of me is irrelevant. Ingrain that in my mind.
Father, I want to be willing to be made a fool for your name’s sake – Right now I’m not. I’m too concerned with what others will think. Kill that part of me.
Father, would you humble me to the point that I am willing to be seen as foolish. Will you break my heart to the point that my image no longer matters?
Right now I am too caught up in self to be lost in you, but I want to lose myself so that I might be found.
God will you free me from myself?

I think it is something I desperately need..."