When Spring Is Over, Summer Begins

It feels like it's been a while... There were the six things, but that was more fun than anything.
I guess you could say that there's a lot going on... May seems like it flew by!! So, let's see... Finals went well. I finished with the best GPA I've gotten since the beginning of Jr. High. It's so different wanting to be back in school instead of feeling obligated. School got out and the office thing started. It's really not that bad. Some days I think I'm going to go stir crazy, but 5:00 always comes eventually. I really like all of my co-workers. Most of them are women who are 10+ years older than me, and they are all so nice. I also cut off a good 10 inches of my hair. This is pretty much what the technical parts of my life has looked like for the majority of the past month... That is, until about a week ago.
If you look back and read some old posts you might pick up on a little of what God has been doing in me over the past year. A lot of that has involved going back to school. When I sensed God releasing me to go back to school, I sensed that it would be more than sitting in a classroom for four years, only to earn a piece of paper. I felt that there were things he wanted to use me for. I'll spare the details here, but it seemed clear to me that there was going to more to it than education. God provided and I went. Not only did I go, but I attempted to get involved with different things. I didn't know what other direction to go! I believed that I was called for a purpose! Things never panned out, and I spent the majority of the semester asking God why he had specifically called me to school if it was going to be fruitless. I knew that building relationships with people was important but I wouldn't be at school forever and that left me with an intense urgency. Time was short.
If only I had known what God was doing.
Now, here I am, on summer break and preparing to leave my office job to be a part of an incredible opportunity. In just a few short weeks, Yaks is going to be taking over the coffee shop at Simpson... Could I have planned it any better? No.
I'm so excited. I'm a little overwhelmed with the details of what the summer will look like (painting, flooring, building? demo? and training) and a little overwhelmed with the fact that running a coffee shop and going to school full time will be a very delicate balance.
But God is so good, and even now he is drawing me closer to him. He is beginning to hedge me in with his plans and purposes. Not just for the immediate future, but also for the long term. He's reminding me that I am completely useless apart from his strength and power. He is reminding me that in the midst of difficulty, his grace is sufficient. He is breaking me heart for my peers. He is breaking my heart for the church. He is reminding me that he doesn't condemn anyone because they deserve it. If that were the case I'd have a VIP ticket to Hell, and I'd get to ride the express train. If I'm to have my papa's heart for his kids, then I would be all but destroyed over the ones who don't know him. I still don't get that. My heart is not enough like His yet. I pray that He would do whatever it takes.
One last thing, before I crawl into my jammies and call it a night:
Caleb rode back to my place with me after group. His motorcycle is big and fast, and I have a little 50cc scooter that tops out at 40 (that is, if I'm riding downhill and there's a good tail wind) We were riding up a long straightaway and Caleb never rode more than a couple feet in front of me. He had the ability to ride off and leave me (and 35mph is slow) but he didn't. God reminded me that he could leave me at any time. He has the ability to make the world right in the blink of an eye, yet he lets me be a part of his plan. I get to partner with the creator of the universe, and it's not because I'm any good. He lets me join in because He loves me, and He wants me to share in His life.
I have nothing to offer from myself, but when He's right next to me, he makes up for all that I lack.